I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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