You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
