is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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