I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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