shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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