gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
