it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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