I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
