youre lurking in front of me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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