i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
