worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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