No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
