My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
