Got a toothbrush?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
