I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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