he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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