I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
