Don't you send me to vm
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
