dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
