why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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