I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
