Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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