Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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