I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
wow bdsm is so cute
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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