I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
