Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
