He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
