He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
