im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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