Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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