We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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