It was confusing and full of hummus
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
