It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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