I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
