He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
