sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
