he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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