Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
