No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
