"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize