it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
