I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
