Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
