you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How external is "for external use only"?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
