can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
