420 ftw
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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