swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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