awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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