I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
