My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
