y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
